Rescue Me!

Our bishop asked each auxiliary to take a Sunday lesson time to teach about the ward rescue plan.  I have to admit that I struggled to find the right way to present that lesson.  I worked on it for at least two weeks and was never happy with my end product.  Fortunately, something  preempted my original lesson date.

The lesson was rescheduled to the first Sunday in November.  As tragic and devastating as it was, Superstorm Sandy gave me a great intro.  I like to make PowerPoints for my lessons.  They seem more visually interesting to me.  Pictures and Pinterest acquisitions make good illustrations, I think.

I started with three pictures:  the first was of a group of people being led out of a flooded area by a relief worker with a boat, the second was a NICU nurse from NYU Langone taking a baby down the hospital stairs by flashlight, and the third was the picture from George Takei of the power strips that someone put outside of their apartment for their neighbors to power up their cell phones.

I asked the girls simple questions:

Who was doing the rescuing?  Who was being rescued?'
Why were they rescuing others?
How were the people rescued?
What was used to rescue people?
What are some of the characteristics of the rescuers?  of the rescuees?

Then I presented the concept of the ward rescue plan, explaining (with input from our bishop who was visiting) about ward council and how we identify members of our ward family who need spiritual rescuing, and how we want to help those people make and keep sacred covenants and return to Heavenly Father. They read  Then I asked the girls the same questions about rescuers and rescuees, using the following scriptures:

John 13: 34, 35
Mosiah 18:8, 9
D&C 18:10, 15, 16
John 21: 15-17
Alma 31:34, 35

The Young Women's auxiliary doesn't have a rescue list per se, but we do have several girls who are, for many different reasons, inactive.  We have the responsibility to reach out to those girls, even if it's difficult.  Elder Robert D. Hales' most recent Conference talk was extremely helpful and yielded many great quotes.

Since then, we've been talking about ways of reaching out and rescuing others.  The ward council is like the National Guard, with an organized rescue plan.  But we can all help rescue others like the person did in providing power to their neighbors.  We can do small things, like genuinely welcome people when we see them at church, talking to them at school, inviting them to activities more than just an offhand way.  Sometimes, it's a small thing that makes someone feel comfortable in coming back to the fold.

As one of my counselors said, "The reasons why people leave are complex, but the solution is simple".  Not that the way back is easy, but it is so much easier than the lives that people live when they're wandering around in the mists of darkness.

Finding Joy in Our Divine Potential

"Invite an exemplary sister (preferably one who has married in the temple and has a family), who has been approved by priesthood advisers, to speak to the young women about the joy of being a woman. Ask her to relate some joys and challenges she has experienced, including some when she was the age of the young women in the class. She might tell about specific experiences and choices that helped her stay close to Heavenly Father and the blessings and joy that resulted. She should emphasize the joy of being a woman at every age."--Lesson 5, Manual 1

This lesson must have been scheduled for a First Sunday, and I must have been in charge of the day, because I was able to invite our speaker.  The person who immediately came to mind was our Stake RS President, who is one of the most remarkable people I know.  We'll call her Marilyn, because that's her name.  And guess what?  She hasn't been married in the temple, and she doesn't "have a family" in the sense intended, which is a husband and children of her own.  This woman is a businesswoman, a wonderful musician, dedicated to caring for her ailing parents, a great friend and a terrific leader.  She has all of the qualities that I would love to see in all of our Young Women.  If anyone is finding joy in their divine potential, it's she.

Marilyn adapted this from a talk she gave in the YSA ward.  It was such a wonderful message that I asked her if I could have her notes to share here on the blog.  With her kind permission, here it is (with some slight editing for clarity):

"I had been shopping with my mother in one of my favorite stores that has everything from furniture to gourmet foods.  Mom said, "Choose whatever you want from the store today.  I'll buy it for you."  But I wasn't really in the mood for shopping that day, and the only thing I could think of getting was a bar of soap.  The whole store was open to me, and that was my choice.  Later, I was very disappointed in myself for not taking advantage of everything that was available to me.  

Fortunately, I have chosen better in life than I did in that store, otherwise, my life would be lame.

Life is all about choices. The choices you’re making now really will affect the rest of your lives!!! You’re forming habits now that will stay with you, so choose well. Life is hard enough…don’t make it harder by making crummy decisions.


I’d like to share with you a few keys that have helped me have a joyful life.

I have a very happy life….I’m very blessed. Some of you may be thinking that that’s impossible….I have no husband, I have no children, so I couldn’t possibly be happy!!!! I’m happy because I’m doing what Heavenly Father wants me to do.

I’m here to tell you that Heavenly Father has a plan for every one of us, and it’s not always the same plan, or the plan we would choose for ourselves. We have different missions to perform, and that requires different plans. The first key to finding joy in life is to make the absolute most of your circumstances.

2nd key:

When I was a teenager, I had a bishop who I didn’t know extremely well, but I had an okay relationship with him. When I was 16, I was at his home picking up his daughter for an activity, and the bishop said some incredibly rude and mean things to me. I was stunned. Bishops are supposed to love and support the youth. Since then, I have known people who have left the church over things like this. I was really hurt. I had a choice to make: I could leave the church, or hold a grudge against that bishop, OR, I could forgive him, and let it go. I knew that I loved the gospel, and I figured out that bishops are human and make mistakes, and I decided not to let his mistake get in the way of my happiness.

It’s easy to hold grudges, but WOW….one rule of joyful living is to forgive and let it go!!!!! Blessings of peace follow.

Seek the guidance of the spirit, and then when you get inspiration, follow it!

Key #3

My motto: Be ye not weary in well-doing.

Another key to joyful living in the Lord’s kingdom: Take advantage of every opportunity you have to serve. Develop your talents so you have more to serve with. Say yes to opportunities. When you do that, the Lord increases your ability, and gives you more wonderful opportunities and more blessings.  Church service has been the joy of my life.  I’ve learned that the greatest joy comes from serving individuals…your friends, family, those you visit teach.

Pres. Kimball said: There is great security in service, and we cannot have spirituality without service.  Right now you’re learning to do that. You have service projects, you serve when you do temple baptisms you do things for your families. Hopefully, you are learning to love that, because it really is at the heart of being happy. The more you do, the more you learn, and the better prepared you are for great service in the church.

You know what has taken away from my happiness? Comparing myself to others!!! If you do that, stop it now. Not good for you, and not the Lord’s way.

The last key: being committed and consistent.

The Lord does not need wishy washy or flaky women. Really!!!! He needs strong, faithful, dependable women. When you’ve said you’ll do something, DO IT! When you’re supposed to show up, SHOW UP! If you’re supposed to be someplace at 9, be there at 9, not 9:20!!! When someone needs help, be the one to HELP THEM!

Sisters, remember that you are a work in progress, even though you are fabulous now, you have the potential to be even more fabulous. See this pile of sugar and flour, stick of butter? Good ingredients, but to make them into something really special….like this (Marilyn's amazing chocolate chip cookies)….takes a some work, some effort. It does not happen magically. Having a joyful, fulfilled, productive life requires work, sacrifice, consistency.

President Kimball said: One of the greatest teachings of the Man of Galilee, the Lord Jesus Christ, was that you and I carry within us immense possibilities. IN urging us to be perfect as our Father in Heaven is perfect, Jesus was not taunting us or teasing us. He was telling us a powerful truth about our possibilities and about our potential. It is a truth almost too stunning to contemplate.

Sisters, President Kimball was talking about YOU! YOU have immense possibilities, and the makings for a joyful life.

Choose a joyful life. Choose to be committed and to forgive and to make your life one of service. Choose to seek inspiration, and to follow it when you receive it. Those things make for a joyful life.

New Curriculum

I am so excited for the new curriculum.  Getting through the next three months of the old manual is going to be paiiiiiinnnnfulllll, knowing that there is better stuff around the corner.

Today, I realized how the inspiration I've gotten for this calling has been calculated by the Lord to prepare me (and I assume my board and the girls) for these exciting new changes. The people called to the YW board with me really are the perfect women for the job of rolling this new curriculum out.

Can we just switch over now?

I Hope They Call Lots of Them on a Mission!

Why the announcement that young women may serve a mission at 19 is making me cry tears of joy, I can't say.  Maybe it's knowing lots of young women who will jump at that chance.  Maybe it's the confirmation from the Holy Ghost that it was direct revelation to the Prophet from our Heavenly Father.  Maybe it's knowing how many lives will be blessed by these young women.  And maybe it's the knowledge that, as a Young Women's leader, there is now an urgency that we prepare all of our young women, whether they want to serve a mission or not, to be ready to share the gospel throughout all the world, to be leaders, to have strong testimonies, to make and keep sacred covenants.

This is going to make a huge difference in the lives of our Young Women, whether they choose to serve a mission or not.  It's going to change the Church going forward.  It's going to change the world.  I'm so excited!

That's Why They Call It a Challenge

Years ago, I was part of a university committee that monitored student progress.  Two of the deans were sitting near me at one meeting, talking about two upperclassmen that violated the law in some way and were being held in the county jail.  Dean Victor visited the young men in the pokey, and sharing his experience with  Dean Joe.

Dean Victor:  I felt so sorry for them!  The conditions there were terrible—no privacy, tough people, overcrowding….

Dean Joe (looking incredulous):  That’s why they call it JAIL, Vic!  It’s not supposed to be easy.

I think about that whenever I or someone else expresses surprise and/or dismay when a challenging situation arises.  That's why they call it a challenge, Vic!! 

On Sunday, I presented the weekly challenge to my Young Women.  I told them that they had the power to change the world.  They received handouts with the cute picture of the globes with the, "She believed she could, so she did" motto.  The story of Nephi's response to the challenge to build a boat was recounted. Laman and Lemuel's negative reaction was mentioned.   I told them that I once was told by someone that I would never get into medical school, but look how that prediction turned out.  They can change the world and don't ever let anyone tell you that you can't.

My challenge to them was to think of a way they could change their world this week.  Maybe it's just the beginning of a big goal, or a little thing they want to work on just for the week.  I also asked for some help with my goal, which is to go and visit the less-active girls.  There were some excited faces, and even some tears from my most sensitive YW.  She left the room, and when I found her, she said, "I have a lot of things to think about".  I think that's great!!   Challenges should make you think.  They should make you cry sometimes, or get angry.  If it was easy and all, "La la la.  Skippity-doo-dah," then it wouldn't be a challenge, now would it?

It's too bad my teary Laurel didn't stay for class, because one of my amazing counselors gave the lesson, "Personal Purity Through Self-Discipline".  It dovetailed perfectly with the challenge theme.  And one of our girls had a terrific "AHA!" moment about how being disciplined actually gives you more freedom in life.  It makes me teary to remember that moment.  Oh how I love my girls and my leaders!

What are you challenging yourself to do this week?  If you are a leader, are you issuing any challenges?

I love that people are reading the blog.  Please feel free to comment.  It makes for a better dialogue and interesting new posts.

Change the World!

Young Women in Excellence (YWIE) is looming.  I'm not sure exactly how we are going to present it, but one thing is clear to me:  I want the theme to be "Change the World!"  I was inspired by Sis. Elaine Dalton's talk at the Young Women Inservice, and from a quote from a devotional talk she gave at BYU-Idaho:

     "Your lives of preparation, righteousness, courage and purity will change the world!"

The purpose of  YWIE, according to Handbook 2, is to recognize the young women for the good things they are doing, as well as celebrating Personal Progress.  We need to sit the Young Women down and see what they have done with Personal Progress in the last few months.  What I really do not want is a Young Women in Excellence where only a few YW are highlighted because they were the ones that have earned ribbons for their scriptures to show that they have completed a Value. Our YW are doing good things in their lives, and they need to be encouraged in and recognized for those things.

I want the girls to realize that they can change the world, from where they stand out to the wide world.  I want to do all I can to help the girls know that they are empowered as they go forward to change their circumstances, change the people around them for the better, and help others change the world.  They will have the faith and courage to dare to do great things as they embrace the Gospel.

I was thinking that perhaps, instead of a spiritual thought during Opening Exercises, we would challenge the girls each week to do something to do something great.  Maybe they will decide to go visit one of the less-active girls.  I really want to encourage that, because girls will want to come to activities and Sunday meetings if they feel like they have a friend there.  Perhaps they will take the time to speak to someone that looks like they need a kind word.  Or maybe they want to set a goal to do well in their classes, and they need to really push themselves to work hard to improve their grades.  Or whatever they feel they need to do to stretch, to grow, and to change their world for the better.

Readers, what do you think about this?  I think my idea is not fully-formed yet.  Personal Progress is perfect to incorporate into the challenge.  Perhaps our girls need to see Personal Progress in a new light in order to recommit to the program.

Before Photos

Here is a look at our not-so-lovely Young Women's room, pre-beautification.

You can see that we have lots and lots of blank space.  The piano is new to us, not the one that we were going to paint.  Our Values and Theme are very cute, but that's the only thing about this room that is (when it is uninhabited).

That Girl

When I was a Young Woman, I was that girl--the less-active one, the socially awkward one, the wallflower.  When leaders would invite me out to activities, I would say, "Sure, I'll be there", but usually back out at the last minute.  I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin, to begin with, let alone super-comfortable in social situations.  I also felt different from the other girls.  To me, they were all perfect little Mormon girls with perfect looks, perfect singing voices, perfect families, perfect testimonies and perfect futures. Of course, had I bothered to look further than my own nose and actually get to know my classmates, I would see that they had their own trials and ways that they felt "different".   None of us really had "perfect" lives, and all of us have had major challenges over the years.

I don't remember much about my Young Women's leaders, but I'm sure that I was one of the girls that they worried about and prayed for as much as I worry about and pray for my less- and inactive girls.  Sure, I was that girl, but now I'm completely active, I have a strong testimony, and I've "(made) and keep sacred covenants".  What are some of the things that helped me become who I am, and how can I use that to help my girls?

1)  There wasn't Family Home Evening, family prayer or the priesthood in our home, but my parents still taught me correct principles, loved me and stuck with me, even though I was a tremendous pill.  We had stability.

2)  My leaders didn't give up on me.  I can only remember a couple of times when my leaders came over to my home or gave me rides to activities (which wasn't strictly necessary as we only lived a few blocks from the church), but they must have kept at me, because I can remember in particular Personal Progress activities.  And I still have a white hankie and note from one of the YW presidents gave me to use in the future when I went to the temple.  Oh, and now that I think of it, my friend who was the Laurel class president and the YWP made me a lovely Sweet 16 cake.

3)  Three of my Laurel classmates--Lisa, Dixie and Cristy--made a special effort to pull me into their social circle when we were Juniors in high school.  They probably don't know how much that kindness meant to me, and how it made me feel included.

4)  I went to Seminary.  Luckily, I lived somewhere where we had release time during high school.  Having a part of each day for spiritual instruction is important.  The Seminary teachers I had were a little bit lame, but at least I was learning basic things about the scriptures and Church history with other LDS kids.

So, family, leaders, friends and Seminary helped me have a foundation at least to build on as I matured.  When it came down to brass tacks in my life, I knew where to go to have real peace and strength, and that was the Savior and His Atonement.  I wouldn't have been able to find that on my own as an adult.

What I hope for my girls is that they will have that same foundation, so when they go out into the big world, they will know that there is a place to find that peace and strength.  We have a great Seminary teacher, who really works with the kids to liken the scriptures to themselves and today's issues.  It's early-morning Seminary, and some of the girls don't make that sacrifice.  Some of my girls have good friendships with each other, but the ones who go to different schools have a hard time making that connection.  Some families are very solid, but some of my girls' families are struggling in many ways.

All I can do as a leader is not give up on the girls.  I know that each member of my board has a particular role to play in connecting with each of the girls.  The girls also have great connections with the women who were in the prior YW board.  It will be interesting to see how these connections play out in the future.

Reader, what are your strategies for reaching out to your Young Women?  Tell me some success stories.  Give me, and any other YW leader who might be reading this, some encouragement, or tell me your concerns and woes.  We will get through this together.

Tablecloths, Centerpieces, and Me

Two or so weeks ago (approximately two weeks into my stint as YWP), I was still feeling a little dazed and confused by my new responsibilities.  I had many good intentions and half-formed thoughts, but I didn't feel like I was accomplishing anything.  I felt like my board was looking at me expectantly, ready to act if only I would give them at least an outline of where we were going.  So I went back to lots of prayer and thought.  One evening I was really down.  What did I need to do to get things rolling?  What did my girls need?  I prayed for guidance, then got ready for bed.

I went to bed but could not fall asleep.  All I could think about was how we really needed to get the girls involved in decorating our room.  Crown molding as frames around the chalkboards!  Large bulletin boards decorated in Pinterest-perfect ways with photos of the girls and the temple!  New curtains!  Etc.!  Etc.!  Ideas were coming so insistently that I had to get out of bed and take notes.

Now, at this point, I have to confess that I can be very utilitarian when it comes to decor.  By no means do I feel that a Relief Society or Young Women's lesson is incomplete without a tablecloth and centerpiece at the front of the room. After all, what does teaching the Gospel have to do with what your surroundings look like?   The prior YWP was always trying to figure out ways to decorate around the brown cinder block walls in our room.  Several presidencies prior to that tried different methods, but cinder block is a tough medium in which to work.  We did end up with very attractive YW Theme and Values prints, created by a very talented Beehive advisor, and that seemed just fine to me.  

The Holy Ghost was really stuck on this dang decorating thing, and I was wondering why what something that seemed to me so frivolous and, frankly, "Molly Mormon-y" had to do with strengthening these girls' testimonies and helping develop them into strong, faithful, LDS women and future leaders.  The thought came to me that working together would help these girls draw closer to each other.  They would learn important planning and execution skills.  They would learn compromise and cooperation.  And on top of that, if they had a room where they felt comfortable and happy, they would be more receptive to the Spirit during the Sunday lessons.  Finally, when the Spirit was satisfied that I had gotten the picture, I was able to fall asleep.

My board was very supportive.  The girls are very supportive.  I have a Camp Director/Personal Progress tsarina who is very creative and was so excited to go forward with this project.   We had our first planning meeting on Wednesday.  Six girls came out, and they learned some basic design and planning principles.  We started our "look book", and we have some very interesting and exciting ideas about how to work with our space.  The "before" picture will be posted soon, and I will follow with updates.


Maybe making our YW room more of our "home" is just a little thing, but I have the feeling that great things are going to come to pass because of it.  I'll keep you posted.

Lead Me, Guide Me

I am a physician with a busy practice, a wife, a step-mother of three terrific young adults, a sometime-triathlete, an electric bass-player, and a newly-called ward Young Women's president.  This blog is a place for me to talk about ideas and issues related to leading an group of young ladies through what can be wonderful, treacherous and wonderfully-treacherous times.  My goal is to help them develop their testimonies and become strong, faithful, LDS women and leaders.

Fortunately, I spent the past year as a counselor in the YW presidency.  This gave me at least a passing understanding of the time and effort involved in the calling.  I knew that I needed to have a terrific board whose strengths fill in my weak points.

Lots of prayer, thought, fasting, thought, prayer and thought went into the selection of the YW board.  Everyone that came to my mind was called and accepted their callings willingly.  They definitely are what I and the girls need.  They are deep thinkers, intelligent, thoughtful, creative and loving.  I feel like we are on the same page when it comes to where we need to go with the girls.

One of my counselors asked what I needed her to do, after our first presidency meeting.  My answer was, "Pray.  Study your scriptures.  Read the Handbook.  Go online to lds.org, read and watch everything you can in the Young Women section."  That was the way that I wanted all of us to start.  Get the overall vision of Young Women's from the General YW Presidency, then figure out what our YW need.

Our ward demographics skew to the "newly-wed and nearly-dead", giving us a small group of youth.  I have known most of them since they were in Primary and I was the Primary president.  We have fifteen girls on our roster, of which approximately half attend church regularly or semi-regularly.  Our girls are also very active in sports, music and other extracurricular activities.  This makes planning activities a little tough.  One thing that I knew would be important was transitioning from having the leaders plan all of the activities and events to having the girls be the planners.  Not only do I feel like they will be more likely to come to activities and bring their friends if it is something that they want to do, it will teach them important leadership skills.  I'd like them to feel comfortable calling someone and asking them to be a guest instructor if they want to learn a new skill, or contacting an organization to ask about and schedule a service project, or working together to come to a mutually-acceptable decision on what activities to pursue, or cultivate a new talent through an activity.

This transition will take some time for the girls to get used to and good at, but I have faith in them.   I also have faith that I was called by inspiration, as was my board.  Great things are in store.  Stay tuned!