That Girl

When I was a Young Woman, I was that girl--the less-active one, the socially awkward one, the wallflower.  When leaders would invite me out to activities, I would say, "Sure, I'll be there", but usually back out at the last minute.  I didn't feel comfortable in my own skin, to begin with, let alone super-comfortable in social situations.  I also felt different from the other girls.  To me, they were all perfect little Mormon girls with perfect looks, perfect singing voices, perfect families, perfect testimonies and perfect futures. Of course, had I bothered to look further than my own nose and actually get to know my classmates, I would see that they had their own trials and ways that they felt "different".   None of us really had "perfect" lives, and all of us have had major challenges over the years.

I don't remember much about my Young Women's leaders, but I'm sure that I was one of the girls that they worried about and prayed for as much as I worry about and pray for my less- and inactive girls.  Sure, I was that girl, but now I'm completely active, I have a strong testimony, and I've "(made) and keep sacred covenants".  What are some of the things that helped me become who I am, and how can I use that to help my girls?

1)  There wasn't Family Home Evening, family prayer or the priesthood in our home, but my parents still taught me correct principles, loved me and stuck with me, even though I was a tremendous pill.  We had stability.

2)  My leaders didn't give up on me.  I can only remember a couple of times when my leaders came over to my home or gave me rides to activities (which wasn't strictly necessary as we only lived a few blocks from the church), but they must have kept at me, because I can remember in particular Personal Progress activities.  And I still have a white hankie and note from one of the YW presidents gave me to use in the future when I went to the temple.  Oh, and now that I think of it, my friend who was the Laurel class president and the YWP made me a lovely Sweet 16 cake.

3)  Three of my Laurel classmates--Lisa, Dixie and Cristy--made a special effort to pull me into their social circle when we were Juniors in high school.  They probably don't know how much that kindness meant to me, and how it made me feel included.

4)  I went to Seminary.  Luckily, I lived somewhere where we had release time during high school.  Having a part of each day for spiritual instruction is important.  The Seminary teachers I had were a little bit lame, but at least I was learning basic things about the scriptures and Church history with other LDS kids.

So, family, leaders, friends and Seminary helped me have a foundation at least to build on as I matured.  When it came down to brass tacks in my life, I knew where to go to have real peace and strength, and that was the Savior and His Atonement.  I wouldn't have been able to find that on my own as an adult.

What I hope for my girls is that they will have that same foundation, so when they go out into the big world, they will know that there is a place to find that peace and strength.  We have a great Seminary teacher, who really works with the kids to liken the scriptures to themselves and today's issues.  It's early-morning Seminary, and some of the girls don't make that sacrifice.  Some of my girls have good friendships with each other, but the ones who go to different schools have a hard time making that connection.  Some families are very solid, but some of my girls' families are struggling in many ways.

All I can do as a leader is not give up on the girls.  I know that each member of my board has a particular role to play in connecting with each of the girls.  The girls also have great connections with the women who were in the prior YW board.  It will be interesting to see how these connections play out in the future.

Reader, what are your strategies for reaching out to your Young Women?  Tell me some success stories.  Give me, and any other YW leader who might be reading this, some encouragement, or tell me your concerns and woes.  We will get through this together.